To tell a tale

In all seasons, but especially fall, I enjoy a good story to sweep me away. Currently I am tangled up with two tribes in the Amazon, a 73-year woman who is pregnant, and a heroine who has pretty serious father issues. State of Wonder by Ann Patchett is doing the trick for my its-cold-outside-and-I-want-to-curl-up-and-read-all-day feelings. 

Some other lovely things for a rainy Sunday:

Alice and Wonderland Illustrations

Design Blogs that make me salivate at the gorgeousness created

 Sipping tea and sharing views

Getting to see this while driving home

"I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!"   -Alice

 

 There is something about the surrounding fog that causes the evening light to radiate. 
 It is one of the most breathtaking things I have seen in my life.

Love, logically.

I recently started my Masters in Counseling Psychology, my program is rooted in Systems theory and transpersonal in its focus. There are many definitions for the word transpersonal, and because the field is young (35 years old) it is constantly expanding and transforming itself. I am constantly reflecting on how lucky I am to have found this place, it feels like home. Spirit and Soul are at the core of what I think about on a daily basis, and the first topic we were introduced to in this program was death. Experiential exercises including Psychosynthesis and Mindfulness thrust us into the depths of this dark topic, but while there I found something unexpectedly light, Love. 

Death and Life are rooted together so deeply. I have spent much of my first quarter reflecting on the loved ones I have lost, and I don't simply remember the grief I felt at their loss, I also remember the life they lived. More specifically I feel the love that they gave. In doing so, I think about the life I am living, the love I am giving. It is reflecting on death, that I see new life. 

As a child I felt very closed off to love. Wary of trusting the solidity of others, much of my poetry and prose is an exploration of those feelings. It is strange, I write from a place that is so guarded in order to transcend those feelings. And transcend I have. In these few short weeks, writing and reflecting on past work, I have unfolded in new ways. I am excited in new ways for life, and the experiences I will share with my loved ones. 


As a previously defensive and cynical lover of love, I need to see the logic here. Emotionally powerful states of mind have logic to them. I have come to see that the purpose of love is to come to know another deeply, and contribute to their wellness and dreams. In order to do this, you must question yourself how you may I come to know this person, how can I contribute. It must be consciously considered. Listening to this person, intuitively taking in this information is not something that happens on it own, you must care. In order to truly care, you must transcend your own selfishness and egocentricity. In my experience, this is tough work, our ego is more pervasive than we know. Ego roots itself, deep. But transcending this sense of “I” to share a piece of yourself with another gives life a vibrancy that is untouched by any other emotion.  

You are irreplaceable. 


May all beings be happy.

Reunification

She went to the attic, up so high as she dove into shadows
jumping into them, as if they were crisp leaves.
Rejoicing over the fullness 

So dim the light- she grasps the walls
hearing all the while,
 You are held.

Fire 
Illuminate
Grows higher.

Covering the walls, the ceiling, the floor
pages and pages of our stories

Sit with me, lets breathe them in. 

See
and be seen. 

Once these days pass, I will still feel your love
because you are standing on your own two feet, seeing me
letting me see you.


My heart deserves to be loved back.